The Interdependence of Grief and Sacredness of Memory

PAIN’S point of view is rarely something precisely portrayed across the expanse of humanity. We all experience agony so diversely offered several variables at participate in.

As I have penned about just before, I have a ritual of browsing with the memory of my deceased son – a journey by way of photos, video clips, journal entries, article content I’ve published – all as a signifies of preserving his valuable memory alive. These kinds of a ritual results in me no ‘pain’ so-to-converse. I am blessed. This is the situation simply because God by no means fails to touch me in my innermost parts. I am revealed diverse nuances of the journey as I go back again there and appreciate the memory of my son, in collection with the recollections we, as a spouse and children, experienced of that time.

A person such the latest revelation concerned the photo higher than (that has been cropped by request of my spouse). This picture was taken the minute I held Nathanael Marcus for the first time.

I was, of a really authentic feeling, conference him. I was assembly him how any of us new moms and fathers meet up with our babies – “Perfectly, who do I have right here then?” The romance begins! From that second, the ‘getting to know you’ processes blossoms and we are for good cast as divided once more in our identities to presume place for this little one particular. It can be about as precious as existence will get.

And there is also a pretty unique nuance to this individual photograph I have in brain.

My son had handed absent some six to 8 hours beforehand, owing to a prolapsed cord with shoulder presentation. He experienced died. I have the corpse of my son there, and I do hope by declaring it that way that I do not convey you, the unsuspecting reader, any agony.

I was meeting my son, considering, “Just what have you been through?” “My weak very little gentleman, I wish it could have been diverse for you.” “I really like you, sweet Nathanael.” These are the types of factors I could compose as captions to describe this photograph.

And then, as I search at myself, remembering how odd the experience was, and how a lot braveness it took for Sarah and I to traipse that street alongside one another – the delivery, I mean – I am grateful to myself for the courage I had, but at any time far more thankful to God that he acquired me/us via!

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Our pain is important to God, and our Lord will bring healing from in the website of our pain if we will permit him.

This suffering that I expertise is most treasured grief that I cannot stay without having, for the reason that it is the sacredness of memory that has come to be part of me now.

There is an interdependence in between the enduring grief of lacking Nathanael and the sacredness of his memory. This is such an ingenious reward to have by means of my days a most treasurable payment for our loss.

© 2015 S. J. Wickham.

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